Your Cheating Heart
by Chad1
Summary: Previously title 'Broken Hearted.' After all the heartache and four years of marriage, Buffy and Angel’s relationship finally comes to and end when he cheats on her. B/A, B/S, and A/C.
1. Again

Title: Your Cheating Heart  
  
  
Chapter Title: Again  
  
  
Author: Dead N Sexy  
  
  
E-mail: chad_m_@hotmail.com  
  
  
Rated: R  
  
  
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine, but the story is.  
  
  
Summary: After all the heartache and four years of marriage, Buffy and Angel's relationship finally comes to and end when he cheats on her. B/A, B/S, and A/C.  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
*Again*  
~Lenny Kravitz~  
  
  
  
  
//I've been searching for you  
I heard a cry within my soul  
I never had a yearning quite like this before  
Now that you are walking right through my door//  
  
  
  
  
'You're finally free of me, Angel,' Buffy thought silently as she gazed around the Hyperion Hotel lobby, tears glistening in her eyes, and with her suitcases waiting silently by her feet.   
  
  
  
Fours years she had been living within these walls. She was happy then, smiling and laughing without a care in the world, with Angel as her husband and Connor as her stepson. That was four years ago. But now, the hotel just seemed dark and dreary, laughter only an echo in the halls from a time long ago.   
  
  
  
"You don't have to do this, Buffy," Willow begged with Connor in her arms, the boy staring at the two of them with curious brown eyes.   
  
  
  
Buffy looked away guiltily and then forced a smile on her face. "I have to," the blond whispered shakily.  
  
  
  
"Buffy . . . "  
  
  
  
"Please, Willow," the ex-Slayer begged, "Don't make this any harder than it has to be. I beg you," she pleaded quietly.   
  
  
  
"Where you going, Momma?" Connor asked curiously.   
  
  
  
Buffy's face fell and she shoved on some sunglasses to hide her grief and pain. The five year old was smarter than any other child she had ever come across with. And it would sadden him if she was miserable and gloomy. Just like his father . . . at least how his father used to be.   
  
  
  
Buffy held out her arms and Connor happily went to her. She hugged him close, not wanting to let the child go. For four years she had been his mother, waking up in the middle of the night to change his diapers or feed him, singing him a lullaby as he went to sleep. She couldn't leave him . . . but she had to.   
  
  
  
For a year now, she had stayed, acting oblivious to all that was happening around her for the sake of Connor. But she couldn't do it anymore.   
  
  
  
  
//All of my life  
Where have you been  
I wonder if I'll ever see you again  
And if that day comes  
I know we could win  
I wonder if I'll ever see you again//  
  
  
  
  
"I'm going away for a little while," Buffy answered softly.   
  
  
  
"Why?" Connor asked.   
  
  
  
'Because my heart is broken and bleeding.' "Because I have to be somewhere else," she answered cheerily as Willow gave her a look.   
  
  
  
"Can't I come with you?" he asked.   
  
  
  
Buffy pulled away to look at his face. So much like his father's. "You have to stay here with Daddy," she chocked, yet still keeping the facade of a person with great much joy and glee.  
  
  
  
Connor frowned and hugged her tighter, resting his head on her shoulder. "I don't want you to go, Momma," he said softly.   
  
  
  
Buffy's heart broke even more as the tears finally escaped from her eyes. "Honey, I have to," she said, "You're gonna get a new Mommy soon. I promise," she said hoarsely, trying not to cry even harder from the sheer truth in her words.   
  
  
  
Connor held onto her tighter. "I don't want a new Mommy. I want you," the little boy cried.  
  
  
  
Buffy swallowed and pulled the boy's face towards her. "I'll always be with you, Connor. I love you . . . you'll always be my little angel." With that said, she kissed his forehead and handed him over to Willow who was quietly crying.   
  
  
  
She gave her best friend a hug and quickly ran for the door, trying without much success not to look back. But in the end, she did. And a lump formed in her throat when Connor stared after her with wide eyed.   
  
  
  
"Momma?" he questioned, his lower lip quivering.  
  
  
  
'Good-bye, Connor,' she thought silently, "Good-bye, Angel . . . " she added, ignoring Connor's screams for her.   
  
  
  
  
//A sacred gift of heaven  
For better worse wherever  
And I would never let somebody break you down  
Or take your crown, never//  
  
  
  
  
The radio blared out as Angel hit the radio's OFF button with a fury. He gazed around his office, taking in the clean walls, and the glass stain windows, and the bookshelf of his most favored collections.   
  
  
  
After Angel's Investigation reached the top four years ago, he had moved his business in a new location in hopes to keep work away from his family. He had bought a building a few miles away from the hotel.   
  
  
  
He sighed and rubbed his temples.   
  
  
  
Something just didn't feel right . . .   
  
  
  
He grabbed the phone and dialed his home phone number, hoping to catch Buffy and have a quiet dinner in that new restaurant overlooking the city.   
  
  
  
No one answered the phone, and Angel frowned before hanging it up. He clasped his hands together, his brows furrowed together in a worried scowl.   
  
  
  
He suddenly felt strong arms wrap around him from behind his chair. He gazed up, hoping to see his blond haired goddess that was his wife . . . but instead, it was a beautiful brunette with a hundred watt smile . . . that didn't compare to Buffy's thousand watt.   
  
  
  
//All of my life  
Where have you been  
I wonder if I'll ever see you again  
And if that day comes  
I know we could win  
I wonder if I'll ever see you again//  
  
  
  
  
"Hi Angel," she greeted huskily, as she kissed his cheek.   
  
  
  
He pulled her arms away in disgust as he felt his heart begin to pound and his head spin dizzily. Deep in his soul, he could feel that something was wrong . . . there was something missing. The bond between him and Buffy pulled at him hard, urging him to get to the hotel.   
  
  
  
Angel's frown deepened in confusion. The brunette then wrapped her arms around him once more, hoping to catch his attention. But it didn't. Angel didn't even blink.   
  
  
  
"Honey . . . " she pouted sweetly.   
  
  
  
Angel gently pulled away from her and looked out of his window, concern etching on his handsome face. She sat provocatively on the chair he had occupied, her dress hiking up a bit. In the past, he would have thought it was sexy, but right now was just the wrong moment.   
  
  
  
"Angel?" she asked.   
  
  
  
  
//I've searched through time, I've always known  
That you where there, upon your throne  
A lonely queen, without her king  
I've longed for you, my love forever//  
  
  
  
  
He had kept his affair with her for an entire year now. He wasn't sure if Buffy knew, but his wife wasn't an idiot. He knew, had always known, that she suspected something, but didn't dare say anything. Why? He wasn't sure.   
  
  
  
  
Angel didn't even know how it began. Just one day he decided to screw with life and just go for it. She was there . . . and Buffy wasn't. He had always had an attraction to her, knew that that same attraction was returned. He just let go of his worries and went of it, not caring . . . he didn't feel that way anymore . . .   
  
  
  
He grabbed his coat and then proceeded to leave his office.  
  
  
  
"Wait! Where are you going?" she cried out, jumping out of the cushioned seat and pulling him back in.   
  
  
  
Angel glared at her, his eyes filled with annoyance and uncertainty. Something was off . . . and he needed to go to the hotel.   
  
  
  
"Home," was his answer.  
  
  
  
"Home? To HER?" she scoffed, "Don't insult me like this, Angel. I've known you for years now. You lost your love for her long ago. Move on . . to me," she said with a sexy and seductive smile that had always impressed him . . . but not anymore.   
  
  
  
He shook his head and headed towards the door.   
  
  
  
"Angel! You step out of this building and you will NEVER EVER see me again! Do you understand?" she yelled after him.  
  
  
  
He gave her a hard stare. "Good-bye, Cordelia," he told her as the door closed behind him, the only thoughts running in his mind was; 'Buffy . . . now there won't be anymore lies, no more disregard,' he thought as he headed on home.  
  
  
  
  
//All of my life  
Where have you been  
I wonder if I'll ever see you again  
And if that day comes  
I know we could win  
I wonder if I'll ever see you again//  
  
  
  
  
"Buffy?" Angel asked as he looked around the hotel lobby as he took off his coat and placed it in one of the hooks on the coat rack by the door.   
  
  
  
But no one came bounding down the steps in excitement, golden hair bouncing, hazel eyes beaming. And no one greeted him. He frowned and walked further into the lobby, not able to hear any noise that someone was there.   
  
  
  
"Hello? Anyone home?" he called out.   
  
  
  
"Hi . . . "   
  
  
  
"Willow . . . " he said hesitantly as he took in her form, sitting quietly on the bottom steps, looking at him without an expression on her face.   
  
  
  
"Connor's sleeping upstairs," she told him. "He's a bit upset. He'll be okay."   
  
  
  
Angel nodded with a frown. "Where's Buffy?" he asked curiously as he placed his keys on the counter.   
  
  
  
The red head got up and grabbed her purse, slowly walking towards the other door. "She's gone," she told him in a whisper before she stepped out into the night.   
  
  
  
  
//All of my life  
Where have you been  
I wonder if I'll ever see you again  
And if that day comes  
I know we could win  
I wonder if I'll ever see you again//  
  
  
  
  
Angel stared after Willow in shock. Buffy was gone? 'No . . . she couldn't,' he thought silently before running up the stairs, panic seizing his heart as his blood rushed through his veins.   
  
  
  
He entered their bedroom. Completely empty. He shoved the door to the closet open. All her clothes were gone. Half of the hangers empty, the floor devoid of any of her sandals or high heels.   
  
  
  
He ran his fingers through his hair, his breath coming in hollow gasps as he raked his brain. She was gone . . . and it was all his fault. He groaned and closed his eyes, rubbing his palms against his eyes. He couldn't breath . . .   
  
  
  
His eyes snapped open, and that was when he saw the envelope with the words 'Angel' written on it placed neatly on the bedside table right by the lamp. He noticed the Claddagh ring placed neatly by it and tears began to well up in his eyes as his heart pounded against his chest.   
  
  
  
He sat down on the cushioned bed and opened the letter with slightly trembling fingers. He gulped down the lump in his throat and began to read.   
  
  
  
  
//All of my life  
Where have you been  
I wonder if I'll ever see you again  
And if that day comes  
I know we could win  
I wonder if I'll ever see you again//  
  
  
  
  
Angel,  
  
  
For years, I've always thought that it would forever  
be you and me. But once again, fate had been cruel to you  
and me. I had always believed that our love was stronger  
than it used to be.   
  
  
I guess I was wrong. Your love for me died long ago.  
I never realized it 'til now. Maybe I did. I just ignored it.   
  
  
You didn't think I would notice the late hours in the  
office, the phone calls in the middle of the night. I'm sorry to  
inform you of this . . . but I did notice. I'm not the naive school  
girl you knew nine years ago. I know what's happening . . .  
I know what's going on with Cordelia.   
  
  
I've tried to ignored it, but I just can't pretend any   
longer. I can see what's happening, and I can't take it . . .   
and I certainly don't deserve it either.   
  
  
I guess it's true with what they say. That if you truly loved  
a person, you would let them go. Well . . . I'm letting you go,  
Angel. Just like the way you did on Graduation day. I wish you  
will return to me in time, so I can be assured that you really do  
love me. But we both know that that's only wishful thinking.  
  
  
I wish all my best to you and Cordelia. And please,   
whatever happens . . . don't let Connor forget who I am. I beg  
you.   
  
  
  
Good-bye Angel,  
Buffy  
  
  
  
  
//I wonder if I'll ever see you again  
I wonder if I'll ever see you again  
I wonder if I'll ever see you again  
I wonder if I'll ever see you again//  
  
  
  
  
He blinked back the tears, and chuckled before looking around the bedroom in utter denial. She couldn't be gone. This had to be some kind of a joke. She just couldn't get up and leave. Connor was still here. She wouldn't leave her stepson for the world. She wouldn't leave HIM for the world.  
  
  
  
"C'mon, Buffy," he chuckled again, gazing around the room, hoping she would pop back inside and surprise him with her presence. The two of them would laugh and he'd beg for forgiveness and never leave her side ever again.   
  
  
  
But after waiting for nearly an hour, he realized it was futile.   
  
  
  
Buffy was gone.   
  
  
  
"No . . . " he whispered, as the sudden pain surged through his insides, eating him alive. The guilt and the loneliness causing him to grasp and realize his own stupidity and foolishness.   
  
  
  
He had let the love of his life go . . .   
  
  
  
Buffy was gone . . . and his life was just falling apart.   
  
  
  
  
//I wonder if I'll ever see you again  
I wonder if I'll ever see you again  
I wonder if I'll ever see you again//  
  
  
  
  
  
TBC... 


	2. I Turn To You

Title: Your Cheating Heart  
  
  
Chapter Title: I Turn To You  
  
  
Author: Dead N Sexy  
  
  
E-mail: chad_m_@hotmail.com  
  
  
Rated: R  
  
  
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine, but the story is.  
  
  
Summary: After all the heartache and four years of marriage, Buffy and Angel's relationship finally comes to and end when he cheats on her. B/A, B/S, and A/C.  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
*Turn To You*  
~Christina Aguilera~  
//When I'm lost  
In the rain.  
In your eyes I know  
I'll find the light  
to light my way.  
  
  
When I'm scared.  
Loosing ground.   
When my world is going crazy,  
You can turn it all around.//  
  
  
  
Spike flicked away his cigarette and crushed it against the concrete with the bottom of his boot, vengeance in his icy blue eyes. He suddenly looked up when he felt someone approaching him, and watched as Buffy made her way towards him, gorgeous hazel eyes glistening with unshed tears.   
  
  
  
He sighed and looked away, his gaze falling to the ground, feeling and knowing the pain she must be suffering because of his bastard sire. A man who had her entire heart in the palm of his hand . . . yet was never happy about it, a man who had crushed it and threw it against the wall and watched with indifference as it slid down to the ground, leaving a wet crimson trail behind it. A reminder of all the pain she had suffered because of the poof.   
  
  
  
//And when I'm down you're there  
Pushing me to the top.  
You're always there givin' me all ya got.  
  
  
For a shield from the storm,  
For a friend,  
For a love to keep me safe and warm  
I turn to you.//  
  
  
He had met with Buffy earlier as she walked out of the step of the hotel, head down as she trudged towards him with silent tears slowly creeping down her rosy cheeks. He had clenched his jaws at the sight, biting his tongue from saying anything to help her through the ache . . . but he couldn't, not when that ache was still so new and fresh.   
  
  
  
So instead, he silently packed away her bags and suitcases in the hood of his Desoto. She had looked back at the hotel, and the both of them could clearly make out Connor's screams for her.   
  
  
  
Buffy broke down at that very moment, and the only thing Spike was able to do was hold her in his arms as she sobbed out her grief and her sorrow. She was hurting, and he knew she didn't want to leave. He knew how much she still loved Angel, and how she had grown to love Connor as her own. And because of his sire's idiotic choices, Buffy was not only loosing the man she loved and cared for, but the son she had grown to believe was hers.   
  
  
  
And he let her cry.  
  
  
  
  
//For the strength to be strong,  
For the will to carry on,  
For everything you do,   
For everything that's true.  
I turn to you . . . yeah.  
  
When I loose  
The will to win.  
I just reach for you,  
And I can reach the sky again.//  
  
  
  
  
"I may never see him again," she sobbed into his leather jacket.  
  
  
  
"It's alright, pet," he muttered in her hair as he closed his eyes, "Just let it out."   
  
  
  
She cried harder, but finally pulled away moments later, trying hard to dry away her tears. "I'm going to take a walk," she told him.   
  
  
  
"Where'll I meet you, luv?" he called after her.   
  
  
  
She didn't answer, so he drove around, knowing Buffy will be able to handle herself and find him. He stayed in front of a Starbucks coffee shop and ordered a cup or warm coffee for her . . . and just in time too.   
  
  
  
"You alright, pet?" he asked, knowing the answer already as he handed her the steaming styrofoam cup.   
  
  
  
She shrugged and took a sip of the drink. "Thank you."   
  
  
  
"No problems, pet," he smiled.   
  
  
  
"No," she shook her head lightly, gazing at him with large red eyes, "I mean it, Spike . . . Thank you."   
  
  
  
His grin wavered ever so slightly, and nodded. "You're welcome," he said sincerely.   
  
  
  
  
//I can do anything.   
Cause your love is so amazing,  
Cause your love inspires me.  
And when I need a friend   
You're always on my side.  
Giving me faith taking me through the night.  
  
  
For a shield from the storm,  
For a friend,  
For a love to keep me safe and warm  
I turn to you.//  
  
  
  
  
She then looked at her slim silver watch. "Our plane leaves in an hour. We should get going," he told him.   
  
  
  
Spike only nodded and he opened the passenger door for her and helped her inside. He shut the door and took a deep breath, not realizing how much he really needed it since he had practically been holding his breath. It was a human-perk he was still getting used to after the Hellmouth closed and he was told by The Powers That Be, themselves, that he was slowly going to start to evolve into a human in the upcoming years . . . something that he was happy about, but still had a hard time believing.   
  
  
  
But the hardest thing to believe was when Buffy had called him up yesterday morning and told her everything that was going on with Angel and Cordelia. He had listened intently at her words . . . how she knew, and she poured it out and finally told him what her plan was.   
  
  
  
  
//For the strength to be strong,  
For the will to carry on,  
For everything you do,   
I turn to you . . . yeah. Oh.  
  
  
For the arms to be my shelter through all the rain.  
For the truth that will never change.  
For someone to lean on.  
For a heart I can rely on through anything.  
For the world through,  
I came through too.  
I turn to you.//  
  
  
  
She wanted to move elsewhere . . . somewhere warm . . . somewhere far, far away . . . and she wanted him to accompany her. Spike didn't have to think twice about it, and offered his aid to her without any questions. He drove all the way from Sunnydale to LA last night. He decided to stay in good ol' Sunny D to help the Slayer there to fight off the remaining beasties that littered the closed Hellmouth.   
  
  
  
It didn't take a genius to realize how he still loved Buffy, after all these years. Only thing was, it seemed to take on another level, not only because of her acceptance of him, but because of the close bond and friendship they had grown throughout the years they had known each other.   
  
  
  
She trusted him, and loved him enough for that. And that was all he could ask for, if he couldn't have her entire heart.   
  
  
  
  
//For a shield from the storm,  
For a friend,  
For a love to keep me safe and warm  
I turn to you.//  
  
  
//For the strength to be strong,  
For the will to carry on,  
For everything you do,   
For everything that's true.  
For everything you do.  
For everything that's true . . . //  
  
  
  
  
They reached the airport within thirty minutes. The entire car ride had been silent, neither of them not really knowing what to say as they entered their own personal little worlds . . . where life was easier to deal with, and where their own inner musings seemed to make sense.   
  
  
  
"Are you sure this is what you want, luv?" Spike asked as the pair reached the gate with their own individual carryon.   
  
  
  
This was it. In a few seconds, they would board a plane to Hawaii . . . and continue on with life, and hopefully heal wounds that fate had caused it.   
  
  
  
Buffy nodded. "Yes," she assured him, "This is what I want."   
  
  
  
Spike sighed and grabbed her shoulders, turning her so she could face him. "This is it, pet," he told her with serious blue eyes. "There's no turning back after we board that plane . . . there's no looking back," he continued.  
  
  
  
She nodded again. "I know, Spike," she said, "I know."   
  
  
  
"Alright," he said, "Let's board then, shall we?" he smiled, offering his arms out to her in a gentlemanly fashion.   
  
  
  
She smiled sincerely and took it. "We shall."   
  
  
  
  
I turn to you. Oh.//  
  
  
  
  
  
TBC... 


	3. Yellow

Title: Your Cheating Heart  
  
  
Chapter Title: Yellow  
  
  
Author: Dead N Sexy  
  
  
E-mail: chad_m_@hotmail.com  
  
  
Rated: R  
  
  
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine, but the story is.  
  
  
Summary: After all the heartache and four years of marriage, Buffy and Angel's relationship finally comes to and end when he cheats on her. B/A, B/S, and A/C.  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
*Yellow*  
~Cold Play~  
  
  
  
  
//Look at the stars,   
Look how they shine for you,   
And everything you do,   
Yeah, they were all yellow//  
  
  
  
  
"Angel . . . I love you. "  
  
  
  
A sweet voice rang distantly and lovingly in his ears.   
  
  
  
Too bad it was only a vague memory of a woman who still managed to hold his heart.   
  
  
  
Angel was never able to forget her and was not capable to love another.   
  
  
  
Of course, Buffy would always occupy his entire heart.   
  
  
  
How and why he ever began and continued a relationship with Cordelia, he'll never understand. Maybe it was a moment of weakness, a moment of rebellion against fate and destiny. Whatever the reason was . . . it was hopeless now.   
  
  
  
Buffy was gone, and he wasn't able to do anything about it.  
  
  
  
Yet one thing he was definitely sure of. He still loved her . . . after three years. Why he didn't realize this before . . .  
  
  
  
He shook his head and gazed out of the airplane window.  
  
  
  
When his golden goddess walked away so long ago, she had taken his entire life with her; his heart, his soul, his . . . everything.   
  
  
  
Buffy had taught him how to love, to trust, and to be happy for once. She had been his entire life, yet he had been so idiotic not see it. Blinded by the belief that she would always be there when he came trudging back . . . he had betrayed her.   
  
  
  
She was only human, as well as an angel, who could only be hurt by him so many times . . . and who can only forgive just as much. So she did the only thing that she knew would make him happy. Thinking it would make him happy. And because of that . . . she ran away.  
  
  
  
She ran away from him.  
  
  
  
The thought of that made his heart clench in pain and utter disgust at himself. He began to ponder if he would ever be forgiven for his sin of breaking her heart; of taking it within his hands and squeezing the life out of it.  
  
  
  
  
//I came along,   
I wrote a song for you,   
And all the things you do,   
And it was called "Yellow"//  
  
  
  
  
He looked toward his right. At his son who was now sleeping peacefully in a curved ball in his seat. He smiled slightly. Connor was the only remaining piece of happiness in his life. The only one who still managed to make him happy.   
  
  
  
He lightly touched the young boy's head.   
  
  
  
For five years, he had been without a mother. And after five years, the boy still remembered Buffy, admired and loved her as though she had never really left.  
  
  
  
"Do you need anything, sir?" the stewardess asked him, pulling him out of his reverie as she smiled at him, practically drooling all over his well suited form.   
  
  
  
He looked at her calmly and shook his head before running his left hand through his hair, making sure that she saw his gold wedding band he still wore proudly on his ring finger.  
  
  
  
She smiled again, a bit sadly this time before walking away to attend to the others on the plane  
  
  
  
He sat back on his seat and he closed his eyes as he took a deep breath.   
  
  
  
It was time that he started a new life . . . a new beginning without Buffy. He was moving to Hawaii. It had been calling to him. So he moved his business base there. He needed to start fresh and start forgetting . . .   
  
  
  
Which will never actually happen.   
  
  
  
  
//So then I took my turn,   
Oh what a thing to have done,   
And it was all "Yellow."//  
  
  
  
  
"Austin!" a voice shouted through the halls of a beach house at the coast of Honolulu, Hawaii.   
  
  
  
Spike looked up from his morning newspaper just in time to see a young five year old run past the kitchen doorway, naked as the day he was born, laughing in delight as a woman with golden tousled hair chased after him. Following her was another five year old boy with a towel around his shoulders.   
  
  
  
He smirked, his scarred eyebrow quirked up as Buffy came walking by the door again with Austin in her arms and Hayden by her side. She looked at him with a bland expression, her clothes wet from trying to bathe the two young boys who had been refusing all morning to take a shower.   
  
  
  
"I see you had another water battle with the little tykes," he commented.   
  
  
  
Her lips tugged into a smile. "Yup, and I lost. Big time," she chuckled lightly.  
  
  
  
"True warriors. Takes after their mum . . . and just a bit of their dad," he smiled before returning to his paper.   
  
  
  
Buffy shook her head and looked at Austin who was busy trying to braid his mother's hair and down at Hayden who started typing the towel around his neck like it was a cape. She stared deep into their brown eyes, like two pools of milky chocolates with a hint of future brooding in them.   
  
  
  
So much like their father . . . so much like their brother except for the dirty blond hair and the perkiness their mother held. But maybe that was just because they both had grown up with only his her.   
  
  
  
"Spike?!" she called out as she began drying Austin with a big fluffy white towel and gently grabbing Hayden's hand. "Can you make some chocolate pancakes! Please?!" she begged in a pitiful tone.   
  
  
  
Her response was a loud mumble and a skillet being dropped against a stove.  
  
  
  
"Thank you!" she smiled.   
  
  
  
  
//Your skin  
Oh yeah your skin and bones,   
Turn into something beautiful,   
You know, you know I love you so,   
You know I love you so. //  
  
  
  
  
The blond looked up at the night sky bathed in darkness. The only sound were the waves crashing softly against the sand and the rocks below her balcony of the beach house she had lived in since she moved here with Spike.   
  
  
  
Her two twin sons were fast asleep in her arms, one on each side of her, cuddled against her chest with their baby blue blankets. She softly kissed their foreheads, beginning to miss those she loved and still loved from her past.   
  
  
  
'Did he remarry?' her mind asked, but no one, not even the wind answered her in return. 'To Cordelia, of all people? Did he . . . did he forget about me?' Again there was no answer and she was glad.   
  
  
  
She missed him so much that it hurt, making her heart scream at the irony . . . making her soul cry out for her other half. She missed the way he made her heart beat like crazy with his soft smiles, the way her knees would buckle when she looked into his brown eyes that had looked at her with much love and affection. She missed the way he made her feel safe and warm when he took her in his arms and caressed her hair. She missed him so much that she ached everyday to touch him and hear his voice.  
  
  
  
  
//I swam across,   
I jumped across for you,   
Oh what a thing to do.   
'cause you were all "Yellow"//   
  
  
  
  
Most of all, she missed Connor . . . and how much she wished he knew that he was an older brother . . . and how much she wanted to remind him how much she loved him.   
  
  
  
She wiped away a tear that streaked down her face.   
  
  
  
"Mommy?" one of her little angels questioned, looking up at her with worry.   
  
  
  
"I'm okay, baby," she assured Hayden, who seemed to be more of the serious one out of the two, "Just missing someone . . . that's all."   
  
  
  
The little boy still looked concerned, and she had to give him credit for being smarter than she credited him to be. "I love you, Mommy," he whispered before cuddling even deeper within her embrace.   
  
  
  
"I love you too, Sweetie. I love both of you."   
  
  
  
  
//I drew a line,   
I drew a line for you,   
Oh what a thing to do,   
And it was all "Yellow"//  
  
  
  
  
The dark haired man looked around his condo with an expressionless face. It looked so blank despite all the furniture and modern paintings that had come with it. But then of course, there were no memories of happy times within his walls either.   
  
  
  
"Daddy?" Connor yawned as he looked around their new apartment with a sense of awe, confusion, and excitement.  
  
  
  
"It's not as big as the hotel," was his first comment.   
  
  
  
Angel laughed. "But he the view of beach will make up for it," he commented before placing Connor on the ground and watching him race towards the large gigantic windows to look out into the sea. "Wow! It's so cool!" he then looked at his father, "Can we go swimming, Dad? Please!?"   
  
  
  
Angel nodded. "Alright," he said, "But let's get unpacked first?" he said, looking at the boxes and suitcases.   
  
  
  
  
//Your skin,   
Oh yeah your skin and bones,   
Turn into something beautiful,   
And you know for you,   
I'd bleed myself dry for you,   
I'd bleed myself dry. //  
  
  
  
  
"G.I. Joe!" Austin called out for his dog, clapping his hands as he went from room to room calling out the golden retriever's name. Buffy smiled at the memory of Austin pointing at the puppy at the pet store and muttering the name, Hayden had followed suit and began chanting it like a prayer.  
  
  
  
Her and Spike had laughed and had to get the dog. G.I. Joe was the only thing the twins had said during an entire month since getting the little beast.   
  
  
  
With that last thought, a blur of two dirty blond-haired heads ran right past her vision and towards the awaiting arms of her two small five year olds. She smiled again and looked at her watch. It was 15 minutes past eleven and the baby sitter still wasn't here.   
  
  
  
"You know, luv," Spike said behind her, "I can just watch the little tykes 'til you get back from your meeting."  
  
  
  
She smiled at him. "They wants to go down to the beach, and I can't have my best friend fried and toasted to extra crispy . . . plus," she added, "You need to get some rest. I know how the agency has been keeping you up lately."  
  
  
  
"But . . . "  
  
  
  
"Spike," she interrupted, "It's okay," she said and began to gently push him down to his basement apartment, "Get some sleep and don't worry about a thing," she said and kissed his lips before shutting the door closed.   
  
  
  
  
"Alright! But you know where to find me!" he yelled behind the door, "Obviously," he added in a mumble.   
  
  
  
"C'mon, guys," she said, holding her hand towards her sons, "Let's go to the beach until Deidre comes, okay?"   
  
  
  
"Okay," they nodded and skipped happily towards the beach with G.I. Joe trudging by their sides.   
  
  
  
  
//It's true, look how they shine for you,   
Look how they shine for you,   
Look how they shine for,   
Look how they shine for you,   
Look how they shine for you,   
Look how they shine.//  
  
  
  
  
"Connor, be careful!" Angel called out as he watched his son kick at the sand and waves. The beach was quite empty for a bright and sunny afternoon. Maybe it was because this area of the beach was private and were only for those who lived at the beach houses and condos that stood meters away from the water.   
  
  
  
"Hey, Dad! Look! I found a sand dollar!" Connor gasped excitedly as he held up the piece of treasure.   
  
  
  
"Keep it and we'll begin a collection," Angel smiled.   
  
  
  
"Cool!" he said and stuffed it in his pockets.   
  
  
  
Just then, he saw a golden retriever running towards his son. "Hey, Dad! Look! It's a dog!" Connor yelled, petting the perky animal on the head.   
  
  
  
"G.I. Joe!" a small voice yelled, and looked towards the sand and found a small child dressed in a white T-shirt and khaki shorts running towards them. Another one, looking exactly like him followed behind, dressed in same pair of khakis with a black shirt.   
  
  
  
The dog barked and trudged towards the children, licking their face.   
  
  
  
"HI!" the boys waved at Angel.   
  
  
  
"Hayden! Austin!" another voice called out, familiar this time, and Angel had to look up towards the beach house where the kid obviously came from. But he couldn't see anything. A group of palm trees were in the way.  
  
  
  
"C'mon, G.I. Joe," Hayden said.  
  
  
  
"Wait, I'll walk you there," Angel found himself saying.  
  
  
  
Both boys looked at him curiously, their brown eyes staring deep into Angel's. "C'mon, Connor," he said, pulling his gaze away, "Let's go meet some neighbors."   
  
  
  
"Hayden! Austin!" the same voice called out again.   
  
  
  
"C'min', Mommy," the pair said in unison.  
  
  
  
Angel looked around the corner and was met with a young woman, around the age of twenty with her inside the house. "I'm so sorry I was late. There was a parade in my neighborhood and couldn't get past them," he heard her say.   
  
  
  
She looked back and saw them. "Austin! Hayden! C'mere!"  
  
  
  
The children ran happily towards her and jumped in her arms. "Hello!" she waved at Angel and Connor before disappearing inside the beach house.   
  
  
  
Angel frowned slightly. There was just something about those kids . . . something about the voice he heard . . . and something about this house that made him wonder.   
  
  
  
"C'mon. Let's go eat something," Angel said to his son before lifting boy up and throwing him over his shoulder.   
  
  
  
  
//Look at the stars,   
Look how they shine for you,   
And all the things that you do.//  
  
  
  
  
  
  
TBC... 


End file.
